Ring Leader

Spring 2009

Eng 3050

Spanish II

Math 1000

Physics 1020

Fall2009

Spanish III

Intro to SLP

A&P of Speech Mech.

Winter2010

SLP 5120

SLP6460

SLP 6480

SLP 3990

Spring 2010

Aud 5240

Fall 2010

SLP 5360 Clinical Practice

Any remaining gen ed

Apply for grad school & graduation.

That's it. I'm almost there. I can't believe it!

Every year I set goals for the upcoming year. Unfortunately, I don't know what I set out to do last year because my blog disappeared last Spring. ; )

Oh wait, I found my list on myspace...I was a little ambitious I think. My goals have changed since 1/1/08. I'm more comfortable with somethings. I think a lot of things on that list was to make me feel better about certain things rather than being attainable goals.

This year my list is a little different & a little shorter. I'm happy to say that I have accomplished some goals from last year. Some goals were refined and others are just ridiculous!

My goals are:

1. 4.0 gpa. I can do it. No excuses. I can do it.

2. Disney

3. Eat healthier (always a goal)

4. Be kinder to myself.

5. Read to my children every night.

6. Take better care of myself.

That's all I can think of right now. I think these are attainable goals. I'm sure I will add more as the year goes by. I think it is better to set goals than resolutions. Resolutions are formed when you are drunk and think they are a good idea. Resolutions aren't meant to be kept. It's different with goals. Goals can be reached. You can measure them.

My ultimate goal this year is to be happy and create memories with my family. If I can do that I will be content.

It started with me just feeling sick. That wasn't uncommon for me. I had already spent a week in the hospital with septicemia two months prior. I went to my sisters so I wouldn't be alone. She wasn't feeling well either. Her due date was coming up fast. That would explain her illness but not mine. We both decided to lie down. Our bellies touched. I could feel Kyle rustling beneath my skin. Something wasn't right but I didn't know what.

Sometime in early afternoon I called Justin. I told him I wasn't feeling well and I wanted to be closer to the hospital just in case. He picked me up around 3. When I got home Justin took off to go to a party or something. I spent the next few hours trying to convince myself I wasn't in labor. I went upstairs but couldn't go to the bathroom. Then I tried to get back down stairs. That took 15 minutes because I could barely walk. I sat down in the middle of the living room. I prayed to God he would keep my little one safe. I tried to open the Pepsi in my hand but couldn't. At that moment I knew I had to get help.

Being the holiday week no one was home. I had to walk to an elderly woman's home to use her phone. Justin came a little while after and we headed to the hospital. Everything becomes blurry after that. I remember them getting me into a room. The doctor came in real late. He said that they needed to stop my contractions. If they didn't they were sending me to the main hospital because they didn't have a NICU. I don't know where Justin was at this time.

The night was rough. I watched the news. They kept saying a huge storm was coming. I remember seeing the weather map. I didn't sleep much that night. Some time during the night they gave me pain meds to help me relax because I was in a lot of pain. More pain than I had ever been in. The lady next to me was in labor but her baby was full term. When I woke up she was gone.

At 5am the doctor came in. He looked very concerned. I knew something was wrong. He had a few other people with him. They all looked at me with the same look. He told me my contractions were getting stronger and they had to move me immediately. I called my sister and someone called Justin.

The next thing I knew I was in an ambulance. I wasn't really conscious. I heard the EMT say that the weather was getting worse but they had to put the lights on to get me to the hospital. Everything after that becomes very blurry. At the hospital there were a lot of doctors. My family was there. Justin's family was there. I was in so much pain. The neonatologist came in to talk to me. He was telling me about Kyle's lungs. They gave me magnesium to stop the contractions but it didn't work. It just burned my veins and made me feel like I was going to die. They tipped me upside down to try and prolong labor. They wanted the steroids to kick in. The steroids were to help develop his lungs. We needed 24 hours for them to work effectively.

We didn't get that 24 hours. Kyle was born at 5 in the afternoon New Years Eve. He was so tiny. The doctors kept staring at him. I knew something was wrong. I knew that my baby wasn't going to be going home with me when I left. They swooped him out of my arms just as fast as they placed him in them. I go back to that moment in my mind often. I wish I could have held him longer. Just a moment, a breathe, longer.

The following three weeks would be devastating. In the end my baby didn't come home with me. He would be 10 years old tomorrow. As hard as I try, I can't wrap my brain around it. I have come a long way in a decade. A lot of my wounds have healed. As I bring in the New Year tomorrow I will be toasting to my son. I will remember how hard he fought to be with us. I will fight just as hard to live my life to the fullest. I will remember how much love him and I will love my family just as deep for as many years as I draw breathe on this planet.

The New Year is fast approaching. Every year I think about the good that has happened over the year. The bad too. Surprisingly, this year there has been very little bad. Things have been so wonderful this year. Unbelievably wonderful! I'm making a list of my top eight favorite things of the year. So here it goes...

Top 8 of '08

8. We have another year to make more memories.

7. Kris graduated Mort School.

6. I kept my overall GPA above a 3.0

5. I made amends with someone. I'm thankful I did.

4. I was accepted to WSU & am going!

3. Everyone is healthy.

2. I've been married for six years and we are better then ever.

1. We bought a HOUSE!

It has been a great year. I am so excited about next year. I'm so excited to start WSU. I'm so excited to be going to Disney with my family. I'm so thankful that next year Kris and I won't have to work *so* hard to make ends meet. With any luck our family will remain healthy and happy. That is my ultimate goal for the next year. I want us to eat better and do more together. That's it. I'm starting to realize how fast they grow up. The time is slipping away faster than I can keep up. We can no longer put things off. If I can accomplish that I will be satisfied.

I made this recipe as a gift for Pat's grandparents. It was a little messy to make but they were so good!

I found the recipe in my "Food & Family" magazine I get from kraftfoods.com. Enjoy.

What you will need...

2 1/2 pkg. {20 squares} Baker's Semi-Sweet Chocolate, divided

1 pkg. Philadelphia Cream cheese, softened

How to make it

Melt 8 chocolate squares. Beat cream cheese with mixer until creamy; stir in melted chocolate. Refrigerate until firm.

Shape into 36 balls. Place on wax paper-covered tray

Melt remaining chocolate. Use fork to dip truffles; return to tray. Decorate, then refrigerate 1 hr. Refrigerate 1 hour.

Just a few tips...Don't soften the cream cheese too much. Cook the chocolate on low heat and try not to let it harden because it gets icky. Make sure you refrigerate the balls before dipping them in the chocolate. The cream cheese will melt. ; ) I used a toothpick to dip them. I think small tongs would be easier. I think you can get creative and add flavors but I'm not that brave. You can also dip them in powder sugar or unsweetened cocoa powder instead of dipping them in chocolate.

I think the next time I make these I'm going to use the dipping chocolate that you use for strawberries. It might be easier. I'm also going to use fat free cream cheese because I could eat all 36 by myself! : )

We had a very nice Christmas here at the circus. The kids were well behaved. They didn't even fight! ALL DAY! I was very happy. I went to bed at 4:30am and the kids woke up at 8:30. I was pretty tired. The kids about burst waiting for me to get my coffee.

After we opened presents the boys played Rock Band and I got the best video of Pat.

That was the highlight of my Christmas! I had so much fun watching him sing.Then we headed to Grandma's house to open the rest of their gifts. Meg, Sebast, and Pat got new bikes. Pat got play-doh, Colby got Tonka trucks & a helicopter, Sebast got clothes. They were very happy with the bikes. Colby already has a bike so he didn't get one.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I'm so glad it's over. Next year is going to be awesome! There are so many great things coming our way. I can't wait!